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GREG GUTFELD: The slickest, sneakiest man on Earth could be our next commander-in-chief

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Happy Monday, everyone. You all look beautiful. Well, some of you. So another weekend, another Biden blunder. They're as common as flatulence in Whoopi Goldberg's dressing room. While delivering a speech to the Congressional Black Caucus Saturday night, old Joe might have been trying to tell us something, namely that it's the first time he heard of LL Cool J. 

PRESIDENT BIDEN: Two of the great artists of our time representing the groundbreaking legacy of hip hop in America. L.L. J. Cool J. By the way, that boy's got... man's got biceps bigger than my thighs. 

In an attempt to bring Joe into the 21st century, try not to call African American males over the age of ten, 'boy,' even if you once eulogized a close friend who helmed the Ku Klux Klan. But Joe does know his hip-hop has an accomplished breakdancer. 


Doesn't even need cardboard. But I wonder what his fellow Dems think of these gaffes. Yes, the gaffes pile up. Newsom is laughing so hard, oil oil-soaked birds are falling out of his hair. And now a shocking new Washington Post/ ABC News poll has Donald Trump with a whopping ten-point lead over Biden in a hypothetical rematch of 2020. The only thing shocking about that is that it's not a 70-point lead. I guess it's time to get back to what worked in his last campaign and have Dr. Jill lock him in the basement. I wonder what his fellow Democrats think about that. So why do I keep bringing up Gavin? 

Newsom at NASA research center in California

The Foster sisters both said Governor Gavin Newsom was "the worst." (Tayfun Coskun)

Well, other than my respect for his work in American Psycho, he's starting to distance himself from his party's worst ideas. Newsom, a guy who hates fossil fuels but could still bring down the price of gas by wringing out his hair, once proclaimed that his state would be a sanctuary to all who seek it. Then people actually came, tons of them moving faster than a mob of Walgreens shoplifters. So last week, Newsom said he hopes the conservative Supreme Court will overturn the current law that bans his state from removing out-of-control homeless encampments. 


Imagine that. Well, what did you expect, Gavin? That the sanctuary seekers were going to show up in Winnebagos? Once again, another example of a high-profile lib using his big mouth to write a check his ass can't cash. Last year, after the Texas Governor Abbott ordered that parents of transitioning children should face criminal investigation, Newsom then tweeted this "Trans kids and their families should be celebrated, not targeted by the state. They are heroes." And so, "To fearful families in Texas right now. California's door is always open to you." Yeah, and so is the side door on some pedophile's minivan. Then came the national polling by overwhelming majorities. It turns out Americans don't favor minors transitioning. So last week, when a California law was proposed that judges in custody cases favor the parent who supports transitioning a child's new gender, Newsom killed that law quicker than a late-term abortion. Yeah, I know, huh? 


Now, the left, being the left, was outraged, but they missed something because now Newsom says he only vetoed it since it's already the law. That's a nice one, dude, you got to admit, this guy is so oily, he should join OPEC. But what a magician. Only he pulls excuses out of his butt instead of rabbits from a hat. And that's the strategy-- covering his butt. Because in the real world, these progressive policies, much like Kamala Harris, just don't work. So people are eventually forced to look elsewhere. Newsom himself is discovering this the hard way. He recently said in an interview that his kids are on a pathway to a micro cult by listening to the likes of Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson. But is it a pathway to a cult or being saved from their dad's insane life philosophy? Because, as Scott Adams points out, the harder the left tries to raise the children on the right, the more Andrew Tate will be raising the children on the left. And at least no one's trying to sniff them.

Gavin Newsom

California Gov. Gavin Newsom speaks in Sacramento, Calif., Jan. 10, 2023. (AP Photo/José Luis Villegas, File)

I guess in Gavin's world, kids could choose their gender, but not their opinions. It's funny, the definition of a cult is keeping people from contacting people not in the cult and silencing speech. But isn't that what the Dems are doing to parents and just about anyone who disagrees with them? Now, perhaps many lefties begin with good intentions, as they always do, and at some level, they believe in all this s*** but in the end, reality always shows up to ruin things. Like that great philosopher Mike Tyson once said, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." I learned that sitting next to Dana and nothing hits harder than a competitive world where bad guys do exist and where capitalism unleashes human potential better than anything else, and where children benefit by having an actual childhood. As for Newsom, he's been saying for months he's got no plans to run for Prez. But this weekend he didn't exactly say no.

REPORTER: You may be termed out here, but does cleaning up the streets of California factor into a potential presidential run?

GAVIN NEWSOM: I'm never going to over-promise that in the short run. I mean, we are struggling in this state.

REPORTER: You're not answering my question.

NEWSOM: Housing and homelessness, housing and homelessness. 

REPORTER: Is that a yes or no? 

NEWSOM: That was a... It was a never-ending response to your question. 


Wow. That's a shift. So it seems like the slickest, sneakiest man on Earth is slowly sliding in and cuz he's good at this political theater, he could be the next commander-in-chief, especially since the other options are no laughing matter.


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Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).